I wasted so much time on plastic toys, clothing my kids would never wear, all of this man-made crap- it still turns my stomach to think about it. This was time that I should've been spending playing with my kids, or resting, or cooking, or exercising, you name it. Anything but what I was doing. WHY DID I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME HOLDING MY BOUNDARIES? I had so much to understand and so much to learn and nobody was going to teach me, I would have to first decide that I was worth defending and learn all of this on my own (just like most everything else in life that is worth knowing. You cannot rely on anyone else for your happiness, you can't rely on anyone else to make you wise, and you cannot rely on anyone else to put you first. That is your job.)
If you want to remain small, sad, broken, and beholden to the opinions of others, that is your choice. But you CANNOT expect to be happy more than fleetingly, because you are living to please others. The world does not need another martyr. How can YOUR HAPPINESS be based on whether or not you are making others happy? Why do you want to live to temporarily fulfill a narcissist, or entire groups of them- these people who will NEVER be happy, no matter what? Why do you want to choose a life of catering to those who have not done the hard work on themselves- which will only further hold you back from EVER getting to a place of openness and space which will allow you to grow into your own radical, full potential?